Is Biohacking Really Bullshit

A candid look at trendy biohacking practices — cold plunging, saunas, CGMs, fasting, and peptides. It breaks down what each actually does, who benefits (noting key differences for women), and why none replace the free basics: sleep, movement, nutrition, and connection.

Welcome to the world of biohacking. It is here, loud, expensive, and sexy. We hate on it a lot. Not because we disagree with all of it, but because it is making everyone feel like they have to spend exorbitant amounts of time, energy, and especially money, on things that do not actually make you live longer.
Did you hear what I said? Biohacking practices do not increase longevity, especially if you are not doing the daily things that do. Remember, the practices that create longevity…are free.
Note: all these photos were obviously, specifically chosen to represent the over-the-top, sell it with sex world of biohacking; or in the case of fasting, shock value. Enjoy.

Cold Plunging

Fit shirtless men standing by an outdoor hot tub overlooking the ocean
My friends with anxiety, this one’s for you. The effects of cold plunging on anxiety and depression have been well documented. Spending time in cold water stimulates the production of norepinephrine and boost endorphins. In other words, it makes you feel good, possibly…high (not smoking pot high…runner’s high). Because your body has an extreme stress response to the cold water, breathing through that and calming your body back down also teaches the body and brain coping techniques for times of stress.
{note: for research purposes, I turned on the data collection for my Garmin and the 3 minutes I cold plunge, in 58-60 degree water, is the highest recorded stress level of my day.}
Garmin data chart showing body battery and stress spike during a cold plunge
Cold plunging can also boost your muscle recovery times. We’ve all seen athletes dunk into ice filled tubs after games. There is a reason: it reduces soreness and inflammation in the muscles. That being said, if your goal is muscle growth, cold plunging is said to interrupt the necessary inflammation cycle needed for the muscle to grow. If that is your goal, cold plunging may be better on rest days or hours after your workout.
{Sam here: despite what the data says, I’ve never actually seen cold plunging inhibit muscle growth in a real-world scenario. If you love to cold plunge, and the only time you have is right after strength training…Go For It.}
Ladies! Please do NOT cold plunge at the same temperature men do. Men can get away with below 55 degree water (though not necessary), we can not. Our hypothalamus does not deal well with that amount of stress and will release more cortisol which is opposite of the desired effect. I recommend a temperature between 58-62 degrees for women. Start with 30-60 seconds and build up to 3 minutes – that goes for everyone.

Sauna

People relaxing in a sauna with water splashing
You need to sweat, daily. If you don’t sweat regularly, your body is absolutely not detoxing correctly. Sweating is one of the most effect ways our bodies clear toxins. Think about it, when was the last time you actually had sweat dripping down your face?
There are many ways to work up a great sweat. For Sam it is playing basketball outside. I don’t play a sport anymore so I have to work a little harder. I also don’t sweat much when I workout, or ever really; I am very cold natured. Enter the sauna. We have one on our back porch. I love it. I am using the word love here about a sauna.
But here’s the catch: I spend time in the sauna after I have done my movement, exercise, workout for the day; not instead of it. You don’t get to cheat when it comes to longevity. Is sweating in the sauna helping my longevity, sure. Removing toxins from your body is critical to being healthy. Is the sauna enough to replace moving, eating well, and spending time with others…you know the answer.

Continuous Glucose Monitor

Woman outdoors by the sea wearing a continuous glucose monitor on her arm
How hot do you look with a CGM on the back of your arm?! They are everywhere. On everyone. This one we are a little less convinced on. Clearly if you are diabetic or have a medical condition that requires it, you need to wear one. The rest of us….
{note: the 13-year-old next door schooled me the other day on a ‘hot mom walk’. So if you’re in to the Lulu wearing, Stanley cup toting, CGM wearing scene…rock on.}
Sam and I both wore one for 2 weeks just to experience it. I was not overly impressed. All of us know that if we eat something that it mostly sugar we get a spike of energy and then crash. I tend to be hypoglycemic (my blood sugar can drop too low if I do not eat regularly). I already knew this from trial and error (after you almost pass out a few times you kinda figure it out). In other words, we all know what we should and should not eat and how it effects us.
Yes, it was fun to eat something and then check our glucose levels. Sam learned apples oddly spike his glucose but he can lessen that effect by eating them with peanut butter (again, not ground breaking). If you enjoy data, and that data does not ruin your mood or life, try it for 2 weeks.

FASTING

Painting of a sumo wrestler, representing extreme fasting and eating habits
Sumo wrestlers are impressive athletes with a very structured training regimen. They have the shortest eating window on the planet, at least for humans. The majority of them will fast for 20-22 hours a day and then consume upwards of 18,000 calories in a 1-2 hour window. Why?? Because it does the above to your body. Their sport requires them to have extreme strength as well as a huge amount of fat on their bodies. Prolonged fasting is the way they accomplish this.
Yes, that is the extreme version of fasting but here’s the thing: a fasting window over 12 hours works great for half the population, and they are all men :o). Men can get away with fasting, and even tend to have good results from it because their higher testosterone blunts the cortisol spike when men wake in the morning. However, men do need to be careful that their limited feeding window doesn’t prevent them from getting enough protein for the day.
Women do not have the same luxury. Estrogen controls cortisol in our bodies and as we hit mid-age (ie: peri-menopause and on) our estrogen starts to decline and is not there to keep cortisol in check when we wake. Fasting prolongs the high level of cortisol after waking…and long story short, high cortisol is what makes women gain weight around the torso, among other things. Women need to eat, particularly protein, within an hour of waking to stop the production of cortisol. If you want an in-depth explanation, Dr. Stacy Sims does a better job than I ever could – and wrote the book on women’s training and meal timing, literally.
So: Men, give it a try. Women, this one is not for you.

PEPTIDES

Muscular man injecting a peptide into his abdomen
I have tried a couple of peptides and am currently trying CJC (stimulates human growth hormone) and MOTS (mitochondrial health). Sam is jealous. My doc wants to see if we can support my 48-year-old, peri-menopausal body, and bring down some systemic inflammation. So far, I can’t say I have noticed a huge difference.
We recently attended a talk by an MD that prescribes peptides, and he said it well: peptides are just proteins, all of which are found in your body. Ok, legit. It has been established that peptides are fairly safe (when purchased from a reputable, compounding pharmacy)…but are they the miracle ‘drug’ they are being advertised as? We say no.
If you are not eating well, sleeping, moving daily, and connecting with people…peptides are NOT going to make you live longer. Can they help tendons repair? Probably. Can they help lower inflammation? We’re guessing maybe. Will peptides replace a good diet and exercise? Obviously, no.
So if you want to experiment with peptides…try it out. We’d love to hear about your experience. Here is the important part: peptides are not all created equal. Please do not buy peptides off random internet sites (most of which come completely unregulated from China). You need to see a knowledgable doctor (that uses a local compounding pharmacy) and can monitor your treatment. Please be safe!
Stay in the game.